I’m writing to you from a semi-state of food induced coma.  Nothing says “summer” like a pound of ground beef split between two pretzel rolls, two ears of corn, pasta salad, and an (un)healthy scoop of peach cobbler.  I wouldn’t say that I have dry heaves, because if any heaving were to occur, I can assure you that no part of it would be dry. 

I’m pretty sure that if I were to try and get 1,500 words out right now I’d end up with a sloppy post and an even sloppier keyboard, so bear with me while I fire off some quips quickly…

  • The Cubs are 4-1 since Anthony Rizzo arrived.  I’m just saying…
  • Today was one of my favorite days of the year.  Not because the heat broke or because of the smorgasbord described above, but because it was cable TV renewal day.  Most Americans hate this annual right of passage however I look forward to it every 365 days.  It’s a great chance to hone ones negotiating skills as the cable bill is one of the last true land grabs in our culture.  I don’t want to come off like I’ve got all the answers but I can tell you two things, 1) you’re paying more than you have to for your cable television, & 2) the guy on the other end of the phone has a lot of leeway to retain you as a customer.  This time every year I check the competitors introductory rates and then call my provider telling them just how bad the “other guys” want my business.  To make a long story short I was able to maintain my existing package, lower my bill by $20 a month, and added Starz.  Boo-yah!  That’s right, this guy has seven new Starz channels getting pumped into his house as of this afternoon.  Somebody is moving up in the world. 
  • Spain’s national team plays soccer like James Joyce writes poetry. 
  • I watched Liam Neeson in The Grey this weekend and my question is, since when did wolves become velociraptors?  For the longest time I’d heard that there had never been a documented case of a wolf attacking a human being (apparently that’s not the case), but even so, the movie depicts them acting like a swarm of bees circling the honey pot that is nine survivors from a plane crash.  For the first time I think I’m on the same page as PETA.  Wolves are awesome and movies like this are pure slander against them.  They only re-enforce my desire to get my law degree so that I can pursue civil action suits on the behalf of animals.  Also, Dermot Mulroney does an excellent job playing a poor man’s Robert Downey Jr.
  • NHL free agency started July 1st and the Blackhawks went out and signed a crappy, bottom of the roster defenseman.  The more things change…
  • Did you hear about this whole leap second ordeal that occurred this weekend?  I get our goal to be accurate and all, but really people?  Was catching up that single second worth all of this?  It’s just silly if you ask me.
  • The Houston Rockets seriously think Omer Asik is worth $8.36M per year for the next three years?  They realize that he scores 3 points and grabs 5 rebounds per game right?  If I’m the Bulls unfortunately I think you have to match that offer but Eff You Houston.  Seriously.  More on this later in the week.

Ok, that’s it.  That’s all I’ve got.  I’m not sure if it’s the extra second this weekend, the holiday in the middle of the week, or the melted swiss cheese coursing through my veins, but my world seems like it’s flipped upside down right now.  Is it Canada Day or something?  I need to sit down.  Let’s see what’s on Starz.

Check out the new “Best In Show” page/tab (above) and let me know if there are favorite posts that you think should be included that I over looked.  Thank you as always for reading and be sure to load up on all the illegal fireworks you can get across the border.