It’s time we make a definitive and final call on an epidemic that has plagued our nation for far too long.  What the hell is up with lawn art?  I’m at a loss as to whether people actually think various gnomes and statues look good, or whether there are that many people out there with a shared sense of comedic irony. 

I think we can all agree that having multiple pieces of lawn art does not increase the value of your home.  I have trouble seeing how it has any effect other than decrease your selling price, but let’s save that argument for another day and just call it neutral for now.  Your neighbor’s home values are indesputably affected however as no one wants to move across the street from outdoor hoarders.  Is not the definition of our legal system and that of most religions based upon one’s freedom to do whatever they see fit as long as it does not negatively affect another?  I would think a case can be made that these “decorations” are in direct conflict with that, no? 

The Christmas season brings with it a new wrinkle as it has evolved into a celebration of exterior illumination.  Ever since Sparky Griswold stapled his sleeve to the roof, dad’s across the county have been going out of their way to be the biggest asshole on the block (good naturedly of course).  I can get behind these labors of love as long as, A) they’re creative, B) some sweat equity is involved, & C) there is a shelf life for the display.  Inflating a bunch of seasonal windsocks does not meet either of the first two criteria.  Same goes for those who leave their Christmas lights up year round.  I don’t care how good they look or how much effort it takes, making your house look tacky eleven months a year so that it can shine for the twelfth doesn’t add up.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh here.  What are your thoughts on the subject?  I think I’ve made my stance fairly clear but perhaps there’s an angle I’m not seeing.  They say that art speaks to different people in different ways.  Perhaps that’s the case here.  The only other way I could justify the actions of these people who clutter their yard with junk and garbage knowingly, is to assume a whole different set of inaudible voices are speaking to them.