Perspective served on a poppy seed bun with mustard, relish, tomato, onion, hot peppers, celery salt and a pickle
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Recently while questioning the attire of a heavyset consumer at a large box store, it occurred to me that before heading out into the world that morning the subject in question at one point must have looked in a mirror and said to themselves, “I’m looking good today,” or barring that, “this seems to be a perfectly acceptable outfit.” The garments in question involved a half shirt and jorts that epitomized the phrase ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.
This unfortunate fellow and his wardrobe led to me think about all the little lies that we tell ourselves in life to either justify our actions or be at peace with our decisions. I gave some thought to trying this as a Twitter campaign initially, but given the lack of general reader interaction most of my efforts generate (your collective lack of use of the Comments section below is appalling), I figured I’d just begin this as a post and if you see fit to add your own two cents to the matter then I would encourage you to do so either in the aforementioned Comments section or in using the hashtag #TheLiesWeTellOurselves on Twitter (for those not already following hit me up @ChicagoChiGuy as well).
Without further ado, here are just a handful of the little rationalizations we use to get us through each day…
- A big red bump is far less visible than a little whitehead.
- No one else can smell that.
- Luckily that stain and my shirt are the same color.
- Using these big words, properly or not, really does make me sound smarter.
- People are impressed by the volume of food I can eat.
- No one really notices the wrinkles in my clothes.
- It’s close enough.
- Having a clear airway is more important than any social status I’ll lose by excavating this booger in public.
- It’s important that people understand how the technology gap between the original three Star Wars movies and the second trilogy is non-linear and thus affects the entire franchise’s credibility.
- Our kids cherish the time they spend with their grandparents as much as they should.
- I read every day. The ticker scrolling across the TV counts as reading.
- Spanish speaking members of our society really appreciate my making the effort to drop an occasional “hola” and “gracias” on them. It’s my little way of building a bridge across our cultural divide.
- The more I can inform those around me of my ailments the more awareness I will bring into their lives.
- Everyone is going to want to have the same amount of dressing on their salad so I’ll just douse the whole bowl now and save everyone the time of doing it themselves.
- The person next to me is in the same predicament and thus would probably rather fill the rest of the flight in conversation than just sitting here in silence.
- These people are probably going to want to see a picture of my child.
- I think I’m qualified to speak for what the dog/cat is thinking.
- Everyone would probably prefer to just come over to my house instead of their having to take on the burden of hosting.
- It’s more polite to refuse something than to try something I don’t think I’ll like.
- Of course they’re going to want to know my opinion of their choice. How else will they learn from it?
- It’ll look good because no one else is doing it.
- The amount of water in this pool will make the effect of the tinkle irrelevant.
- If I arrange it just right my hair looks as full as it did when I was twenty.
- I can suck in my gut for the duration of our stay at the beach.
- A tight shirt is the right shirt.
- Kids won’t judge me by the quality of Halloween candy I give away.
- I’m doing the neighborhood a favor my handing out nutritious snacks this year.
- People think all of my yard art is quirky and fun.
- Even if it is a bad haircut, eventually it will grow out.
- They’ll probably just think it’s the pleats.
|This entry was posted by Chi-Guy on August 6, 2013 at 2:00 am, and is filed under Life at a Glance. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.|
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