Mac over at The Chive posted a few weeks ago a series of would you rather- type questions.  Please allow me to fill you in on the correct answer to each proposed scenario (that is unless you feel different):

Your own private island or your own private jet?















 Answer: You’d rather own the island.  There are only so many private islands in the world and jets are a pain in the ass to maintain (parking, fueling, paying a pilot, etc.).  Having your own island offers you the opportunity to be master of your domain.  You can make it a for-profit venture or it can be your own little kingdom.  Nothing trumps that.  Next question.


The ability to never have to sleep or never have to exercise?















Answer: Sleeping rules – why would you not want to do it? 


Be able to stop time or travel through it?















Answer: The historian in me tells me to vote for traveling through time.  There’s so much to see and learn it that it would be tough to pass up.  The only positives to being able to stop time the best I can tell is to commit nefarious acts and shady deeds.  I’m voting for learning and experiences here.


Free tickets anywhere in the world or to any sporting event in North America?















Answer:  I think I’d have to go with the airline tickets.  Life is about collecting stories and the best place to find them is as far away from home as you can get.  I feel like I cannot think of a sporting event that I couldn’t get into if I really needed to be there.  I’m talking about World Series at Wrigley or Miracle On Ice at Lake Placid: Redux.  I would shell out the money needed or find a sneaky-ass way to get into that building.  But traveling to an exotic locale?  I just can’t pass on that.  More often than not the biggest part about getting up and going is wondering how you’re going to get there, and if that issue is resolved out of the gate, well then the world is your oyster.


An estate in the country or a penthouse in the city?















Answer: I’ve gone back and forth on this one as much as any.  I can make a case for voting for the condo as there’s nothing better than having a place to call your own in a big city – either as a permanent residence or as a place to crash when visiting.  In the long run however I think the estate in the country is the better play.  At heart I think I’m more of a country person who likes to visit the city moreso than I’m a city person that likes to spend time in the country.  Having a badass estate trumps taking an elevator to walk the dog or bring in groceries in my world.


Fly on your pet dragon or have a personal space shuttle?















Answer: Dude, it’s a fucking dragon…


Be as smart as Tony Stark or date Scarlett Johansson?















Answer: While Ms. Johansson is rather sexy, I believe the devil is in the details here.  Tony Stark is a fictional character who is wicked smart, rich, and pulls chicks like it’s going out of style.  Scarlett Johansson on the other hand is a real entity, and in turn a defined product to some degree.  I would assume with the question stated the way that it is, that in being as smart as Tony Stark means that you have some of his other perks as well.  What I guess I’m saying here is that Tony Stark – with all his knowledge which in turn leads to wealth - can probably score a lot of ladies of Scarlett’s caliber.  I’m going with the brains under the assumption the dating perks are to follow shortly thereafter.


Have the world’s fastest internet or the world’s fastest car?    















Answer: I’m not a huge car guy but I also am quite content with our ever-evolving internet speed.  I’ll have the car thank you very much.


Be the world’s greatest athlete or the world’s greatest actor?















Answer: In our society today athletes are held in higher regard than actors.  It’s a fact.  I’d go athlete because A) I think it’s cooler, B) I think it’s more lucrative, & C) unfortunately in today’s US Weekly culture I don’t think that being the most famous actor necessarily translates to being the best actor.  I think the most famous athlete on the other hand by definition implies that they are the best not only at their specific trade, but they’re better at their sport than any other “best” athlete is at theirs.  The view from the top of Athletic Mountain is better from where I sit.


Unlimited In-N-Out or unlimited White Castle?















Answer: I’m not going to even dignify this with a response.


Get screamed at by Gordon Ramsay or criticized by Simon Cowell?















Answer: Wanna know a little secret?  I kind of like getting yelled at.  When someone is just going off to the point that their face turns red and spittle is flying out of their mouth there’s no greater satisfaction than starting to giggle and watching them get even more worked up.  I don’t watch either of these bloke’s shows but I’d rather get yelled at any day of the week.


Be undectable by police or have the ability to always get away?















Answer: If you knew you could get away 100% of the time?  That’s a no brainer.  You could do everything you could think of in the first scenario and still not have to deal with any of the repercussions while also getting to experience the thrill of the chase.  That’s wins all around for the Never Get Caught camp.


Hangout with the cast of Friends or the cast of Seinfeld? 















Answer: This is a matter of whether you are hanging out with the fictional characters or the actual people.  I think George Costanza would drive me bonkers but then again so would Joey.  On the other hand I think hanging out with real life Jerry Seinfeld would be the cat’s pajamas.  That alone leads me towards the Seinfeld choice.  While there is quite a bit of appeal to getting to know Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox on a personal level, something tells me that they shop at the crazy mall a bit more often than the tabloids would let on.  Besides, who wouldn’t want to party with Kramer/Michael Richards (either version works for me)?


Have a first generation console with every game or a next generation console with only one?















Answer: Call me old school but I think video games from the 80s and 90s are way better than today’s games.  I don’t need to get wrapped up in role playing games that take six years to complete and involve meeting people online.  Give me minimal pixels and the choice between skinny, medium, & fat players and away I go.  Besides, by definition isn’t any “next generation” console just an antique in waiting?


Live in a world where lightsabers exist or hoverboards exist? 















Answer: Another toughie but I’m going with hoverboards.  Lightsabers are just another weapon at the end of the day, and while incredibly cool, it would just be a matter of time before the government got involved in their rules and regulations to prevent their level of fun.  Eventually someone would do something stupid with one and you’d end up needing a permit and there would be groups formed to protest them, etc.  Count me out.  Now hoverboards on the other hand, while cool in and of themselves, would introduce technology that would open pandora’s box to all sorts of other futuristic stuff.  I’m captain of Team Hoverboard here.


$20,000 in cash or the ability to summon Stone Cold Steve Austin three times in your life?















Answer: While a much bigger fan of cash than I am professional wrestling, $20,000 is going to come and go throughout various points in my life.  The Steve Austin thing is unique and thus more valuable.  How awesome would it be to have that power at your disposal?  I’m working under the assumption that when he shows up he takes your side in any argument or conflict unconditionally - which I think is a reasonable expectation.  As a worst case scenario, I’m willing to bet in using your third summoning you could rope those around you into a wager based on the fact that you have said powers for a dollar value greater than or equal to the money you passed on initially.  It’s a no brainer if you think about it.