I’m officially thirteen days into the Twitter world (or something like that… @ChicagoChiGuy by the way) and it dawned on me that all Twitter really is is a 140 character bunch of one liners and silly insights into people’s lives.  You know, kind of a lot like a certain column that a certain blogger has developed as a certain type of crutch when he doesn’t have a fully fleshed out stream of consciousness or diatribe to share. 

I hate to say it but the logical thing to do is to damn up one of the two tributaries of my river of creativity so that there is only one single, stronger source of flow.  With that said this may be the last entry of Quick Quips so please enjoy…

  • What the hell is all that white stuff on the ground?  Did Sam Hurd’s delivery truck get into an accident and the content spilled in the stratosphere?
  • For anyone looking for a good time filler at the office today I can’t speak more highly of Katie Baker’s mailbag from Grantland.com this week.  It’s epic.  I was going to pretty much steal here American Reunion joke verbatim in this space, but you have to give props where props are due.  If you don’t care about sports in the least at the very least check out the link and scroll half way down to the YouTube clip and the zinger directly above it.  Pure comedy gold.
  • While I’m pimping Grantland, check out Jonah Kerry’s piece on trolling the bargain basement of baseball free agency.  It’s basically the guide to everything the Cubs have never done (until this year)   
  • Speaking of the Cubs, I am one giddy little boy about everything that’s happened since mid-October on the Northside of Chicago.  I’d say the Reed Johnson signing was a bit questionable but otherwise we’re dealing with some sharp tacks in the front office folks.  Books will be written about them (one of them may be my own – seriously).  On that note, this little nugget came out today and I’m in awe.  How fun would it be to be able to play around with this end product?  What’s that you say?  Sounds kinda nerdy?  Well I didn’t get into Magic cards, video games, or Dungeon and Dragons at any point in my life so I get this one thing ok?  Don’t judge.
  • Last sports note in this space (I promise) but our boy Patrick Sharp got screwed like a lightbulb.  The Wife could not be more upset.
  • I was very disappointed in the Christmas light displays throughout the Chicagoland area this year.  I remember as a child piling into the car and driving through neighborhood after neighborhood and seeing rows of houses all trying to out do the next.  This year I feel like you had to do the same amount of driving just to find three houses in a row that had any lights up at all.  Now I am definitely on the roof in December cursing as loud as the next guy when hanging lights, but when it’s done its always worth it.  I’ve heard the “it’s the economy” argument as to why people held back this year but I’ve got news for you, the cost of Christmas lights is not measured in dollars and cents.  It’s sweat equity people, and it’s worth every drop.
  • My first order of business upon having children is to build up their arms, legs, and back so that I never have to go into the crawl space of my house again.  That’s what slave labor, err… children are for.
  • This kid is awesome…

  • This kid is even more awesome…

  • The Wife and I are going to be racing to begin this level of brainwashing upon the birth of our child…

  • Is there a way to gamble on ABC’s “The Bachelor”?  If so please send me a link.  I can pick out right now (2nd episode) who the final three will be and which girls are bat sh!t crazy.  It’s a gift.
  • Glad to see “30 Rock” is back in stride in 2012.  They honestly were running out of gas last season, like they went all in on their 100th episode last spring and then realized they had six more shows they needed to fill.  Thursday night’s episode showed they were right back in their groove.
  • The Wife called it two seasons ago but I’m starting to get on board the “The Situation Might Be Gay” train.  Him and The Unit last week really toed the line more than I was prepared for.  Then again, watching Pauly send Vinnie off on Thursday night put them in the conversation as well.
  • “Parks & Recreation” and “Modern Family” are the two best network sitcoms on right now.  Is there a perfect candidate running for public office right now?  Knope.  Killed me. 
  • Otherwise, this is going to be a long winter for TV I think.  I’m going all in on reading this year as my faith in television is lost until new “Mad Men” episodes start in March.  Please pass along your recommended reading lists at your convenience. 

That’s all I’ve got for you this week.  I hope you’ve enjoyed the Quick Quips format, it’s been fun the write for you but it’s time to let it sail…

Who am I kidding, it’s not going anywhere.  My promise to you is that each quip in this space will exceed 140 characters.  There’s my differentiator with Twitter right there.  If you like regular giggles, hit me up in the Twitter space (@ChicagoChiGuy) but for the fleshed out funny, you know where to turn. 

This weekend I’m off to New Orleans for a bachelor party which should be a big pile of ridiculous.  I promise I’ll come back in one piece and share what stories are legal, non-incriminating, and family friendly.  On second thought this may be the only thing you hear about the next three days of my life.  Wish me well…